Make or break me

She knew his reputation, knew how he got on, he was a compulsive flirt but she also knew that he wouldn’t hurt her. He was loyal to her to the best he could and whenever she did catch him flirting he always made up with it by spoiling her rotten, she never could stay mad at him for long. His reputation warned her, his past with other women was a warning flashing right in front of her but she was positive he would stay loyal to her. She knew he would…Didn’t she?

**

Their relationship was never really much of a secret given how close they had already been everyone around them knew it was only a matter of time before they did hook up eventually. At first they had kept it quiet when they first hooked up given it was behind their partners backs but the thrill of their affair kept her wanting more and eventually they became serious after Nott so harshly ended things with her, she had craved his embrace and he had so willingly gave to her. Sirius had confessed when she had nearly drank herself into a coma how much he cared for her and swore he would never hurt her like that and she asked him to prove him, they went public a few weeks later after his break-up with Marlene settled. She found things with him came with a natural ease, the affectionate kisses he would give her, the lingering feel of his lips against her temple and the way she would always be smiling whenever he was around. But once every month she would be found spending  it in the library and people would wonder if they had, had a fight. She had gotten used to Sirius vanishing off with his friends once every month and he had told her it was their own sort of meeting where they would catch up and end up wasted with Remus drinking more than he should and always ending up hurt. His story seemed logical enough but Remus didn’t look like the sort of guy to be that clumsy or careless but she said nothing, she found no reason to after he’d show up with flowers the next day. Things had seemed to go from better to absolutely fabulous and after their sixth year ended  the two of them took a few weeks off in August away from their friends and they came back from Greece bronzed and their relationship still strong as they went into their final year at Hogwarts. Though things didn’t stay perfect for long.

It was the school work that got them first as their NEWT’s slowly crept up on them and even Sirius had his head down this year and although they would meet in the library to study together they very rarely hung out. But the weekends were a savior and he would join her for breakfast on the Saturday morning were they would spend the day together and as the year went on and half term came upon them things seemed to be okay for them. Though after the Halloween half term they no longer found time at the weekends to catch up and after one weekend spent studying turned into two and gradually turned into more they barely seen one another. She had breathed a sigh of relief when the Professors lay off for a moment and she swore to stay away from her books and sought Sirius out, she had expected to find him leaning over another girl. His eyes seemed to find her instantly and her own forest green eyes narrowed though he darted away from the girl, who pouted, and glee was written all over his face as he swooped her up in his arms and spun her around. A giggle had escaped her at his affection and she met his kiss with an eagerness she didn’t know she had, they spent the day in Hogsmeade and his eyes had never left her and her smile never faltered. Though as time went by and work piled back up on top of them the rumors started up again as Christmas approached and the infamous mistletoe was out and about. 

“Oh she isn’t going to be happy.”

“Kissed another girl.”

“Oh my god who.”

“Dunno, I think it was Vanity well that’s what everyone is saying.”

“I saw him come out of the supply closet with some Hufflepuff.”

“I saw him snogging his ex, Mckinnon.” 

Wherever she went someone was muttering under their breath and she rolled her eyes at the meaningless gossip but when she saw him stepping out of broom closet with Astrid her heart had stopped in her chest. Silence fell around her as her eyes stayed on them, taking in the smug grin on his face and satisfied smile on Astrid’s. It took them about thirteen seconds to notice her and when his grey eyes found hers she saw the guilt and shock creep onto his face instantly. But the damage had already been done and her bag fell from her shoulder in shock before she turned on her heel and darted up the stairs to the Ravenclaw tower where she locked herself in her dorm and refused to let anybody in, including her dorm mates.  Flitwick had came up to sort things out  and when she laid eyes on Astrid she launched herself angrily at her so called friend, pulling her hair hair out before wrapping her hands around her throat with fury written all over her face.

“You did it on purpose you little slut.” Alyssa had snarled when she had been pulled off of Astrid, held back by her team captain and she was amazed at how quiet Astrid was. 

The Ravenclaw prefect served her detention silently seething and when McGonagall asked her what was wrong her anger vanished and she burst into tears. The Professor of course had told her not to worry over something so trivial and that her NEWT’s were much more important and Alyssa had agreed and buried herself in her work. Sirius, as predicted, had tried making it up to her. During Charms he had flowers arranged to be delivered to her, she set them on fire and ripped up the card, dumping the flaming arrangement in the bin. 

Christmas arrived and she found a parcel sitting on her bed and she frowned at the familiar writing on the card attached, scoffing at his apology before dumping it unopened in the basket beside her bed were it remained. Though on New Years Eve which she spent at Hogwarts she attended the party with Fletcher who had been more than happy to keep her company. She drank far too much and she had stood there shocked when Mundungus was flipped upside down and she glared over at Sirius before sending her own jinx and charmed him florescent pink, a fuchsia leotard and tutu to match added with glitter in his hair. She had stormed out as he stood there in horror as people laughed and when the clock chimed midnight and celebrations sounded throughout the castle she sat in her bed and cried. New Years day wasn’t any better and with her seventeenth birthday the following day she found herself sinking into an alcoholic depression and didn’t leave her bed. She had started of the new year with a broken heart and had no intention of changing it but when her birthday came and she stirred awake to an owl hooting beside her she frowned at the parcel in front of her. The writing on the card asked her to open the parcel first but she recognized that hand writing and did the same thing she did with his Christmas present, she dumped it in the basket beside her bed. Her friends, who she had ignored and blanked completely since Sirius’ betrayal, tried to get her out of bed but she refused and instead turned her back on them. So when a knock at her dorm room door sounded she growled impatiently and pulled it open, she stared in shock at Sirius standing there with his broom in hand and although there was worry written all over his face she slammed the door in his face and curled back up on her bed.

“Piss of.” She spat out as the door opened and she threw her empty whiskey bottle towards, frowning when it hit off the door beside his head instead of hitting him. “Get. Out.” She growled and she screeched in fury when he shook his head, grumbling to herself she huffed when he sat down in the chair at her desk beside her bed and she noticed when his eyes caught sight of the unwrapped parcels in the basket on the floor. But what she didn’t notice when she looked away from him and glared at her feet was the sadness and regret on his face as his shoulders slumped and a heavy sigh escaped him. “Just go away.” She mumbled, not having the energy to fight him anymore and settled against the wall as she did her best to fight the tears that were threatening to spill and to ignore him.